this is NOT how i wanted to spend my day. this is the second day this week that i have had to take off work because my son is sick, and it's only tuesday! we went to the doctor yesterday because mikhai was not feeling good all weekend. he was acting like he had an ear infection again. the crying, not eating, not sleeping, all around not happy baby act. so i stayed home yesterday to take him to the doctor. what a mistake. i came out of the doctor's office feeling like a complete idiot for wasting his time. every thing that i said was discounted, because "there is nothing wrong with your son" "his fussiness might be caused by teething" that about summed up the office visit. so we left. mikhai only ate about 2 oz of milk at a time, if that. and when he slept it was only about ten minutes at a time, if that. he refused to eat solid foods, no matter how much we played, he wouldn't take them. he had a really runny diaper before he fell asleep for the night, but i didn't pay too much attention to that. it happens. he finally fell asleep about 9pm and slept pretty good. which was strange. i've been trying to get him to do this for a while and last night just seemed too good to be true. it was. in the middle of the night he threw up in his bed and then proceeded to have a liquid BM diaper that went through his pajamas. this is NOT what you want to wake up to in the dead of night. the strange thing about this is that while i changed his diaper and pjs, he didn't do anything. he was asleep the entire time. the poor kid was so bloody tired cuz neither one of us had not slept for three days. so i changed him and put him back in bed. he sleeps for a little bit longer, then wakes me up again with another liquid BM. ugh! and they stink! this too goes through his pj's. only this time when i pick him up, he throws up on me and my floor. again, ugh! about this time i go in to tell my mom that i don't think i'll be going in to work again. ms. tee won't let him come to her house like this. and i'm not gonna ask my sister to watch him for fear that my nephew will get sick. so i have to stay home. again. we go back to sleep and he wakes up again a little after 5am with yet another liquid BM, that yet again goes through his pj's. my mom was just getting out of the shower and asked me how he was doing. "umm, not so great. i'm changing his clothes for the third time tonight." through all this, i'm getting rather livid for feeling like an idiot at the doctor's office. nothing wrong with my son, my ass!!! i called the doctor's office this morning when they opened. "we came in yesterday because my son is sick and i was told there is nothing wrong with him and was made to feel like an idiot for coming in...if that's the case, why have we been up all night with diarrhea and vomiting?!?!" the doctor called me about 10am and said he said no such thing. we duh, he didn't say it, but i sure felt that way. (my baby is so sweet to me. while i was on the phone with the doctor, i was rather upset. my little guy came to me to get on my lap and sat with me and held my hand the entire time i was on the phone. just another reason i love the little man.) this isn't the first time i've felt this way about the doctor either. i'm finding another pediatrician. i don't feel comfortable with him anymore. he may be great for my little sister, but not for my son.

so. i'm home with mikhai today. he is at the moment, taking his fourth nap of the day. poor guy. and today, the idea of watching TV is useless. it is so windy here that the dish loses reception every time there is a gusty wind. and that's been about a dozen times an hour.

he took his first step yesterday!!!!!

(1-8-06)

and i forgot to tell ms. tee.  drats.  i guess i'll just have to tell her tonight when i pick him up.

i'm such a proud mama.

every time that i pick mikhai up from ms. tee she has nothing but good to say about my son and what he's doing. she told me this morning that her mom came over and after watching mikhai said that i have a genius in the making. he is only 7 1/2 months now, but he is constantly looking at everyone around him and trying to emulate them. she said that yesterday she had the other kids at the table and put him in a little chair next to them and he just stared at everything they were doing. (when he is absorbing information he gets this cute little scowl on his face) ms. tee said that after watching him for a minute, she gave him a spoon and he was making the same movements as the other kids, trying to use the spoon. he already knows which end is supposed to go in his mouth. we gave him one at dinner the other night and every time he dropped it and picked it up, he would work the same end into his mouth every time. my mom has made the prediction that she will have him feeding himself in two months. he's already drinking out of a sippy cup. (granted, he likes his formula out of it more than anything, but he's using it)

for the last two nights as i've gotten up in the wee hours to calm my son so he will sleep, i am shocked at the profound sense of awe that i have when i look at this little man that i am responsible for.  as i watch his angelic face, sleeping so peacefully in my arms, i get choked up on the immense feelings of love.  i must have done something right to get this man in my life.

i thought i'd try my hand at a little poetry about these feelings...

In the hours before dawn while you toss and turn

I’m slow to rise and my eyes start to burn

I need to sleep, but I tend to you instead

I glance down at you and thoughts fill my head

Thoughts of your smile and of your scowl

Thoughts of your laugh and of your howl

You’re such a sweet boy with an expressive face

I look at you again and my heart starts to race

A profound sense of awe sweeps over me

For a moment there, I cannot see

I’m shocked to my core with feelings of love

Every day I must thank the Lord above

I pick you up and cradle you in my arms

I nuzzle your soft cheeks and my heart warms

Fear and love war with each other,

As I think that’s my baby and I’m his mother

and i haven't posted since i was last at work. really sucks not being able to get on the internet at home.

mikhai's grama took him to the doctor on friday for his follow-up for his ear infections. the doctor said that one of his ear drums is still a little dull, but that could be like that for up to three months. but mikhai has had a runny nose and congestion since we saw the doctor in november and it hasn't gone away so the dr put him on another antibiotic so that he doesn't wind up with pneumonia or something worse. and let me tell you, this one doesn't taste very good. mikhai is a very good boy when given medecine, but he does NOT like this stuff. it's really gritty and leaves a nasty aftertaste. while they were there he got a flu shot and has to go back in a month to get another one. my poor baby. every time we go to the dr it seems, he gets poked.

they weighed him at 20.12 pounds. momma's big boy!

i was just looking at my receipts for the past year and mikhai has been in the dr office at least once a month since he was born. man, i'm tired of visiting that place. we'll go again this month for his 2nd flu shot and then we'll go again in feb for his 9 month check-up.