my mom and dad came home from grocery shopping yesterday and they told me that i had to stay in the front room while they brought something in. here i am thinking that they are going to surprise me with a toy for mikhai and they didn't want me to see it yet. well i wait for a minute and then dad grabs me and puts his hand over my eyes so i can't see, then bounces me down the hall to the back living room. (he tried to bounce me off the wall about four times.) i'm standing by the love seat when he lets go of me and there spread out on the coffee table were photographs of mikhai. the friday before new years, i had to work and they had the day off so they babysat for me. well that day they took him to get this done. i started crying while looking at them. he is such a handsome baby and in all the pictures he was smiling and you could tell they got him to laugh in a few. there is one that is on a black background where they have him looking off to the side that i just love. (i'll post it in here when i get them transfered to disk.) then, since he is a little boy, they had to do a sports pose. he is sitting in the middle of a basketball, a football and a baseball, and he is holding a little trophy. it's just adorable. i don't think that i have a favorite because they ALL look so good.

"i'll hug him, and squeeze him, and call him George"

i was looking at the emoticons and there is not one down there doing the "woohoo!!!" dance. drats.

well, the reason i was looking for that is because mr. mikhai took up to four steps at a time yesterday. his first two steps were for his papa. actually, they were for the telephone that papa was holding, but he was going to his papa. (grama made sure to rub that in my face.) it's so exciting to see the little guy doing things like this.

another cause for celebration...mikhai is finally feeling better. he actually ate quite a bit yesterday. ate almost a whole #3 jar of baby food and then another one of dessert. and there haven't been any liquid BM diapers in two days. THAT is a blessing! :) it was really starting to stink in the diaper genie...lol.

his aunt krys was attacking him last night while he was on my lap and he was just a giggling up a storm and trying to climb up my chest to get away from her. she would hide by the side of the love seat and then crawl over saying "i'm gonna get a mikhai. i'm gonna get a mr. mikhai." he loved it. it was so funny and wonderful to hear him laugh again.

his top two teeth are trying to pop through. one of them is on the brink of bursting out, but it's taking it's dear sweet time. so now instead of bitting on one side of your finger with teeth, he will soon be able to bite on both sides with those sharp little buggers!

i can't do anything right according to my mother. especially where it concerns my son. i could tell how many times that she has lectured me that i need to let mikhai put himself back to sleep when he wakes up in the middle of the night. i shouldn't pick him up or acknowledge that he is awake. umm, yeah right. my bed is about 12 inces from his bed and he knows where momma sleeps and comes over to the end of the crib and cries and when i won't get him, the cries escalate in to screaming cries. i have nowhere to hide. unless i sleep on the couch downstairs. that whole concept of letting the kid put himself to sleep crying doesn't quite work in my situation.

okay, so this past week she tells me "you need to get some bottles make up with formula and take them upstairs with you so you just have to go in the bathroom and put water in them instead of making the kid cry for so long."

i said i do that.

"yeah, you make him cry"

no, mom. i make the bottles and take then up with me.

"then why do let him cry for so long?"

(umm, okay, where did this come from? i thought i was SUPPOSED to let him cry?!?!?!?!) so i say, i have been trying to see if he would go back to sleep.

"whatever"

WTF?

so like the title says, i'm damned if i do what she says and i'm damned if i don't.

man am i going bonkers! we have a company tour scheduled for tomorrow that i am in charge of and it is just stretching me in a million different directions. normally the week before a tour is hectic, but i have monday through thursday of the week to take care of everything. this week i was out monday and tuesday with mikhai and now i'm really going crazy!

crazy, i was crazy once.
they locked me in a room with padded walls.
i died in that room.
they stuck me in a black box.
with rats.
RATS! i HATE rats.
rats drive me crazy.
crazy, i was crazy once.......

that's what he calls me. or rather, that's what he was hollering at me while i was trying to get dressed after our bath yesterday and didn't pick him up fast enough. "mum, mum, mum" (translation: dammit, pick me up!)