i realized the other day exactly how long it has been since i posted anything here. i'm actually amazed that the account is still open. lucky me it is. there are many posts on here that i would eventually like to print out and put in my so's baby book. so, during the last year, my son has grown sooo much. he's turned into such a big boy. he's so special. i love him so much. he's now 3 1/2. he attends a daycare/school that he is learning so much from. recognizes all his colors, shapes, numbers 1-10, etc. i know i've said before that he is smart, but he amazes me every day. i see other kids his age and see exactly how much more advanced he is than other children. he uses full complete sentences when he speaks. and he's so independent. i am not allowed to help him do many things. he gets himself dressed, head to toe. occassionally he asks me for help, but not very often. if i see him struggling with something i'll ask if i can help, "no momma, i got it" okay baby. he prefers to get his own food, so we keep lots of lunchables and small items that he can get and fix for himself. he's got asthma so he takes singulair every morning and he's so good about it. he reminds me, "momma, can i take my medicine in the morning?" and he remembers too. such a big boy. i'm not biased or anything, really, i'm not...lol.

hmmm, let's see, what else has happened? i stupidly thought at one point over this last year that i've posted on here that i was going to get married. i say stupidly because i found out (before it was too late, thank God) that he was a lying cheating bastard. i won't go into details cuz it'll just piss me off again, but he didn't last long after i saw a picture of him in an open mouth lip-lock with another woman taken when he told me he was going to be "out of town". so now it's just me and my baby again.

OH!!! we moved out of my mother's house last april. moved in with one of my girl-friends. i think it's been the best thing for both of us. before, when i would pick him up from daycare, he would ask where we were going and when i would tell him we're going home, he would throw a fit and say that he didn't want to go home. he was seriously upset. now though, he asks if we can go home so he can play or do homework or whatever. he's so much happier now that we're not living there. when we first moved out, my mother was bitter about it. she didn't think i was making the right choice for us. she thought i was being selfish and impulsive. that i hadn't thought anything through. but now that we've been here for almost a year, i think i did rather well for myself and my son. he still sees his grandparents all the time. in fact he's there right now. we stopped by yesterday cuz i still get some mail at their house and when it was time to say good-bye, grama convinced him he needed to give momma kisses and hugs good-bye. uh, okay. :) she still doesn't like the fact that we've moved out cuz she's now lost control over my life that way, but we have a sort of understanding. i'm a grown woman with a child of my own and i deserve to be able to raise him how i see fit. not how she does. so, that's where we are. i'm going to try to update this more often than once a year. there's too much to remember to write about it at one time.

oh, i just remembered... my son was a royal pain in my arse for christmas. i was never so happy to have it over with!! for three weeks, once he realized what christmas was all about, all i heard was "momma, i wanna open a present". every day for three weeks. and when he would get to open a present, he would say "but i wanted a megatron!" ya know, from transformers. he only has every other one of the characters from the movie and knows how to turn them into a car or truck and turn them back into a robot. and if he can't get it, well guess what...momma knows how. (lucky me) so for christmas, santa FINALLY got him the megatron that he had been begging for. "i so wanted this!" was his response when he opened it up. yay!! momma did good. that boy is meticulous about opening his presents too. he would take his time and he made sure that ALL the paper was off the present, even that little piece of paper that gets caught on that piece of tape that never wants to come off... yeah, he had to make sure that was off the present too. well when he decided that he wanted to play with megatron, he decided to open the box himself. i asked if he wanted help and mr independent himself said, "no momma, i got it" oh kay. he got into that box too. if he couldn't get the flap to move cuz it was taped, he tore around it. the only thing he let me do was take off the wire twist tie holding it to the plastic. he hasn't bugged me about it since. thank God. hahahaha

okay, i've only been writting this for the last three hours so i'm gonna stop now and drag my ass to bed.

i'm proud of my little man. he woke momma up when he needed to go potty. i'm proud of this because yesterday morning he peed in my bed. i didn't notice it until i picked him up to take him to daycare. that left me only enough time to change him and leave. so when we got ready for bed last night we had to strip the bed and he saw the spot where he peed and we had a little discussion about it. so after he finished his cup of milk he wanted more. i told him that he couldn't have more because then he would pee in my bed and if he peed in my bed then i would have to spank him and i really didn't want to spank him. it seemed to sink into his brain cuz he went potty three times during the night. once before we fell asleep, once during the night (prolly 3:30 am or so) and then right before it was time for me to get up and get ready. i was so proud that he woke me up that i had to brag to ms. tee.

at daycare, the kids are "going to school" for part of the day. they even have folders to bring home that the parents have to look at and sign and return. (ms. tee just started the folders this week) the first night i got his folder, there was a painting he had done that day and a worksheet where they were working on colors and coloring in the lines. ms tee would make a mark on the picture of the color she wanted it and told mikhai to color each picture with the crayon she had used to mark. she said the first picture he started using the wrong color, but all the other pictures he did correct. (yay, he's learning to recognize his colors!!) and i must say for a 2-1/2 year old, he colors in the lines VERY well. so this is the latest for my litte man. when i see more pictures to brag about i'll update.

a friend that i work with just got a dig in about my posting...or lack of regular posting. i know she's going to read this so my response to her is.....

I'm just not very excited about Christmas this year. There has been too much going on in my life that has been negative the last couple months that it's hard to get away from that.

One of the negatives just happened this week. Monday night I had a meeting and came home late. When I walked in the living room, there on the barrel was a camera. I picked it up; it looked an awful lot like the one that I had misplaced about a month ago. I have been racking my brain trying to find what happened to this camera. I don’t remember misplacing it or leaving it somewhere and it’s awful hard for it to just fall out of my purse with the spot that I always put it in, so I was getting very frustrated and with Christmas coming felt I needed a camera and was seriously tempted to go buy another one. Well, the camera is there on the barrel and it’s dead. So dead that the lens is still retracted. Okay, well since it’s mine, I have the battery charger. I took it all to work yesterday and charged the battery so that I could at least put the lens back in. Well I turn it on and start flipping through the pictures and lo and behold there’s pictures of my 13-year-old sister and some of her friends at school. My blood pressure is rising with every picture that I view. The little bitch stole my camera out of my purse and took it to school and has had it for over a month. I went out of town and wanted to take my camera but couldn’t find it when she had it all this time. Thanksgiving was just a couple weeks ago. I wanted to take some pictures of the family together and actually getting along, but alas, I couldn’t find my camera. After looking at the pictures, I realize that my sister had it during thanksgiving. She had a friend stay over and they played dress-up. There are pictures of that in there. Sneaky little bitch. There are pictures of friends at school and on the bus.

I called my mom and asked if she knew that krys had my camera. She said “yeah, but you weren’t home last night to talk to”. I told her that she took it OUT of my purse. It wasn’t just lying around somewhere for her to pick up. There are about 50 or so pictures of her and friends from school on there. “she told us you gave her permission” uh, NOT EVEN!!! “yeah, I’m busy we’ll talk about this tonight”. Humph. Yeah right. I called her about 9am yesterday and steamed all day long about this. I am so frustrated with my sister I don’t see any way out of the red haze right now. I got home last night and didn’t talk to her. We went out to dinner and I didn’t talk to her. We got home and I pulled my camera out to go show mom some of the pictures. She said, “yeah, I know there’s a bunch of pictures in there” I asked if she had seen them. She said no. I told her that she had it during thanksgiving. My mom commented that she had some balls to do something like that, but she didn’t call krys in there to confront her about it or anything. So I went into her room figuring that if she had the camera she also had the case that went with it. She got defensive when I asked about it. I wasn’t nice either. She said, “I don’t know, I don’t have it.” She then turned around and pulled it out of her dresser drawer where it was hiding under some movie cases. Like I said before, little bitch. She then tells me that I told her it was okay for her to take it. I told her (loud enough for mom to hear) “you think I’m gonna let you take a $200 camera to school when you lose a library book?! I don’t’ think so!!!” She goes into mom’s room and instead of getting a lashing like I would have gotten I had I done something minute in comparison, she gets scolded. They scolded her. Told her that people didn't like people that steal and that's what she did. She stole from me. Blah, blah, blah. She was told that if she gets caught in a lie one more time then she "will be grounded until lord knows when" (whatever) she's been caught before and they still haven't done anything to her. I'm so tempted to keep what i got her for Christmas. She doesn't deserve anything after the shit she's pulled on me this year.

So this is just a little bit of my frustration this year and my lack of excitement stems mainly from my little sister and putting up with her and her care-not and holier-than-thou attitude.

On another note, I am excited to see how Mikhai will act this year. Ms. Tee said that this year he should be excited about the actual presents and not just the boxes or wrapping paper. Now that I have my camera back, I can take some pictures. :o)

Update on the previous post. Mikhai is doing MUCH better at not peeing in my bed or his. Although I’m dealing with temper tantrums lately. I just hope it’s a phase and he’ll grow out of it, but to hear my mom tell it, he only does that to me. “he doesn’t act like that when you’re not around, which is all the time.” I wasn’t around because I’m working three friggin jobs! Moving out still hasn’t happened. My plan is to go this weekend and see some places by my sister, but we’ll see if that’s actually what I get to do.

good lord, i see that it's been over a month and a half since i posted anything about mikhai. each and every day i am amazed about my little man. he is so smart and advanced. my godmother said that she visited a friend that has a baby a few months older than mikhai and you could barely understand a word that little girl said. mikhai on the other hand has conversations with you. he comprehends so much. a lot of his language skills has to do with the fact that i try to make sure he can enunciate words properly. yes we are in texas and yes there is some texas twang in there still...lol. but he's doing great with language. get this....ms. tee said last week that she is working with him on his handwriting. teaching him to hold the pencil properly and recognize the letters. i can't say this enough, he is so smart. he also has the "mimic" phase down to an art. how is it that they pick up on the words that you don't want them to repeat?!?!?! lol. i guess one drawback to him speaking so well is that there is NO mistaking what he says. especially if it's a word you don't want him to say.

umm, potty training was going amazingly well for a while. then my sister and her family moved out and i put mikhai back in his room. he apparently didn't like that cuz i put him in his room on sunday night and a week later he has peed in his bed or my bed every night but two. i was getting seriously frustrated with him since he was doing so well before. but i have to understand that he probably is not happy with not having me by him if he wakes up. i'm now in another room altogether. i just got him a night-light last night so i'll see if that has any effect on the situation. give him some light in a room that gets VERY dark. so, if i remember that i should update this more than ever other month, i'll let everyone know how that is going.

i have decided that mikhai and i need to move out. i had a very huge misunderstanding with my mother a few weeks ago and she threatened to get on a plane and kick my ass if i yelled at her one more time. first off, i don't yell at my mother. it doesn't do a damm bit of good so i just don't even do it. if anything i get more quiet when there are tensions between us. whatever. i've had enough of being treated like i'm a little kid and would like to get out on my own with my baby boy and try to live as a family together. it's going to be tough, but that's why i'm working three jobs to save enough money to get out of here. we'll see how that goes.

so, that's the latest news in our world. i hope to have more later......